Flows Through Us All

I crossed a high bridge 

under once cloudy skies 

that now boast a brilliant blue 

and I saw myself in that. 

I looked below to the Mississippi flow 

where foam swirled upstream in a bold 

bend before curling back into the current. 

I saw rushing water 

that I may never see again 

no matter how many million years it outlives me. 

I saw the resilient leaves of November 

heaving in the wind like a weeping woman 

mourning the loss of her fallen companions

and I saw myself in that, too. 

I saw a sunset painting a thoughtful farewell 

to the farmers finishing their fall fields,

setting them to rest for winter, 

and I saw myself in that too. 

I lost count of the white lines 

as I chased them down one by one, 

and I saw my place in time. 

The great constellation 

of the dipping cup appears to my left. 

Were you hiding beyond the sun's daily goodbye? 

It humbles me too, Big Dipper. 

But so do you! 

Your greatness known so well to our hemisphere, 

yet you remain the same; you have no pride. 

Your greatness speaks for itself, 

and it speaks to us all. 

I promise to listen you more, shining stars. 

And you, rushing river of the woods, 

collapsing down the rocks that support you, 

tell me why my ears have never received you before. 

How has my skin weathered 

the drought that I only realized 

when your waters kissed my face? 

I didn’t know you existed until now. 

Promise me you were real 

before you were realized. 

I beg you to make me believe 

your beauty is endless. 

I float in silence on the banks admiring you, 

contemplating you. 

I have nothing to offer you except myself, 

and you show me how little that is. 

I will be your student. Teach me what you may.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

She powers my aching heart as she runs through my veins. I can feel her eroding the walls I constructed in my youth, made of hard rock and cold lies and cowardice. Make a canyon of the character I was when I met you. I will remember you by his absence. Once I praised you for plowing my fields and I begged you to sow seed for me. I can see now why you refused, and I thank you. I hope I can share my harvest with you one day, but this year the fields are empty and it is good- 

the soil needs to recover. Thank you for teaching to me to wait. 

I wake on a hard floor. The dog wants to be let out. I gather my things and follow her out the door. We drive until I find a rock to sit on. I have come here to witness the darkness lift like a slow curtain. It has been a long intermission and the audience is waiting. 

First, a strip of red lines the horizon., not even high enough for the lake to see. The body moves in blackness, I know its crash as it splashes the rocky shore. An embrace of the water and the land, this is a good place. I can feel droplets reach my skin- perhaps I am harder than I thought. Here, on this boundary between liquid and solid, I realize my weight. I match my breathing to the lake's waves. The dark curtain rises a little higher. Long, thin stretches of cloud that lay upon one another like lovers. Before long these black clouds glow pink as the sun draws nearer to the horizon. The blood red recedes to orange and expands wider. Its finger are pink and I can see the shore line on both sides of me. The lake breathes in and out. There is nothing I can do except remain on the rock and not breathe. I am overtaken. I am only where I am. 

A new, timeless color floods over the horizon. 

The water glows orange beneath the light. 

The colors mix, blur together and illuminate an arc on the East sky. 

Everything intensifies, the colors brighten. 

Glory! Glory! It's all there, all around me! 

I am weightless.

 I am invisible because no one is looking at me.