Rule Myself

I wasn’t ruling myself out

I just wanted to rule 

myself. Not be ruled by 

anything else.

Not the cowering fear

Not the vanity mirrors

Not the thoughts of my peers

Nothing insincere

Not my self doubt

Not my tendency to pout

Not when nothing’s wrong

Not by someone else’s song

I just wanted to rule 

myself. Not be ruled by 

anything else.

Wanted to plow my own fields

Wanted to grow my own meals

Wanted to give, not steal

Wanted to know how it feels

To be an orange covered by its peel

You believe in God but you have no faith in me

I worked valiantly so that I could be

Someone that I could see you with,

Maple tree

Peach and ginger tea

Despite our history

Through the mystery

To love with no shame

To fuck wild, untamed

To stop pointing the blame

To burn my own flame

I don’t believe that you don’t love me 

I can see it in your eyes

I don’t believe that you don’t love me 

I think you’re just too scared to try

I don’t believe that you don’t love me

That’s what you decided to decide

I don’t believe that you don’t love me 

But I won’t wait by your side

Hoping you change your mind

Watching you date another guy

 Missing the parts you hide

It’s one thing to be denied

But why’d you have to lie?

Only out of self-respect

Your middle finger to the world,

Kindness with a defect, 

I can live without that, girl

As my eyes are uncovered by time

I can see we’re guilty of the same crimes

Reaching for the fruit

After hacking at the roots

I wasn’t ruling myself out

The weeds were choking the seeds

I knew what they’d need to breathe

You didn’t believe in me 

So less and less you’ll see

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Careful What You Feed, It Might Follow You Home

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Part 3: A Way to (Sur)vive