2/13/15
Go away. Come back.
Eventually.
I wouldn’t forget you. I loved you.
We could still be friends. It takes time.
Yell and fight. Up all night.
Tripping on acid. Watching Earthrise.
I told you everything. You told me nothing.
Broke my heart. Broke my bubble.
Turned my inner citadels to rubble.
Crashed your caring on the kitchen floor.
Called your cowardice and demanded more.
I was ready. Now I’m taking it hard.
I told you everything. You told me nothing.
Did you think I was kidding?
Two years quietly committing
While you were quitting
Now I’m finally splitting
Didn’t ask. Didn’t listen.
Didn’t think about the parts I was missing.
After you wake up. Before you get out of bed.
You live in your body and I live in my head.
I was waiting for you to be honest.
Not just to understand but to put something forth to be understood.
I asked, you didn’t say. You just didn't know how.
If that's the truth I don’t want you anyway.
I could stomache the ache
Of I’m sorry, it’s too late
But weeks of something fake
In hopes you wouldn’t break
A heart that lays every night awake
Was more than I can take.
Please stop pretending
It was kindness you were lending
Cowardice ascending
This mountain’s never-ending
I’m not intending to spend another hour attending
To the flowers you’ve been bending.
It would be one thing if you didn’t beg for love
If you were cold and heartless
If you were wild and chartless
I know what you want and I know it’ll haunt you
The ghost of love that was true
The ghost of love you didn’t see through
Don’t assume I hate you
Distance is the only honest response
To the poetry you wrote about me
hung in my house for everyone to see
To taking for granted
All the seeds that I planted
In the garden I missed you for the first time
As the reeds raked across my skin
I knew I could let you in
I hoped we could begin again
Waved me in atop your castle wall
You’ve been building since that awful Fall
Kissed me at the gate
Then you made me wait
Only to say I’ll never know another day
Where you’ll be in my sway
I saw my pain today
Frosted on the windshield
Weren’t you supposed to protect me from the cold?
Now I’m frozen fingers clawing
How long until it thaws?
How long until my mind and body
Come back to the same room?
How long until these flowers bloom?