To The Fashion Designer from Kentucky

Yes, I’m a real person.

I’m sitting on the chair that Pepe used to sunbathe in. K is talking to his girlfriend, pacing around as he talks. The new WWOOFers are showering and doing laundry after a swim.

It was so funny to see X looking at XXXX in her bathing suit. I can just imagine how you would have smiled at that.

I can’t believe you’ve only been gone for 2 full days. My whole perspective on being here has changed. I feel much more an individual than as part of a unit. It’s crazy. The new WWOOFers are great but damn it’s a different vibe.

The farm still looks like a painting. You know how the trees look, reaching out of the hills as you look down the valley past the shower house? So plein air.

I cried the night that you left. K, Augustine, and I were standing by the showerhouse after dinner, just after the sun went behind the western ridge and we all just hugged each other. I’ll never forget that morning and I hope I never forget our last weekend. That Friday night fire where four of us laid down in a circle, clutching each other’s ankles and feet. Laying on the floor of the Palace of Fine Arts as all the tourists took pictures. Driving across the Golden Gate Bridge at night, discussing the end of the world.

It’s weird to be in the tent by myself. Every night I’ve been here, so have you- up until now. I miss our late night chats and laughs. You were my best friend here.

I hope your road trip is going well and that you’re having so much fun and finding peace. I really regret not capturing a photo of you staring out at the ocean on the Santa Cruz pier.

You were here.

Every experience that you had here is in you forever. It’s part of who you are now. Trust in that. Just like you are different now that you’ve been here, this place is different too.

Trust that you are where you are supposed to be and that you’re feeling what you’re supposed to feel. Enjoy every piece of solitude that you can and push none of it away. It’s only making you greater.

You’re always home.

The end comes quick as a bullet and sometimes you don’t have a say in how things go down.

It’s not about how you say goodbye but the way that it feels to say goodbye, all the moments leading up to farewell. It would have sucked either way.

Stay spontaneous and be free.

I’m so very glad to have met you.

Take care,

Roman